Cinder
by her m o c k i n g j a y
Summary: A memory remains, just a tiny spark.


Cinder

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

* * *

_What a shame we all became such fragile broken things._

_A memory remains, just a tiny spark,_

_I give it all my oxygen, to let the flames begin,_

_So let the flames begin._

* * *

It was dark outside but the dead humidity was a relentless pressure weighing heavily against moistened, tawny skin. The smell of freshly cut grass wafted through the partially open window, a welcomed aroma amongst the pungent scents of alcohol, vomit, and body odor that permeated Ryusuke's shack. Bottles of various alcohol percentages littered the wooden floor, along with towels dirtied from puke and magazines containing interviews with Eddie.

A metal fan was whirring pathetically, stirring the heat and doing nothing to alleviate it. Dying Breed was playing softly in the background, Matt's voice and Eddie's guitar play mesmerizing in their harmony. Beck whined quietly. A car rushed by, its quick passing muted by distance.

Koyuki pulled at his sticky tee-shirt, uncomfortable amidst the heat and relative silence. One leg was drawn up to his chest, elbow resting atop the knee and a beer bottle dangling from his fingertips. He glanced at Ryusuke before quickly looking away, unsure of what to say, or do. Taking a swig, he wished that the rest of the band had stayed behind at the shack with him. He was crap with situations like this.

Ryusuke groaned thickly, rolling over onto his stomach.

"Ughh," he commented, blearily lifting his head.

Koyuki laughed. "Feeling that good, huh?" With a grunt, he shoved himself off the ground and walked into the modest bathroom, setting down his beer bottle and grabbing the plastic orange cup Ryusuke kept his toothbrush in. Placing the toothbrush on the rim of the sink, he filled the cup with cold tap water and grabbed a wash rag before dousing that too. He walked back into the main room, discovering that the older boy had managed to maneuver himself into a slouched sitting position, back against the wall. His elbows were resting on his upraised knees, fingers dug deeply into his dark hair.

Crouching, Koyuki rested a hand on Ryusuke's shoulder, shoving the cup of water beneath his nose. "Here, drink this. You've to have some pretty serious cotton mouth going on." Noticing a hair band on the New Yorker's wrist, Koyuki untangled Ryusuke's fingers from his hair and yanked it off before gathering the long hair in a side ponytail and wrapping the band around it. He draped the cooled wash cloth across the back of the other boy's neck.

Ryusuke gave a delicate shiver.

"Come on," the younger boy persuaded, jiggling the orange cup. "Drink some of this. It'll get rid of the nasty taste in your mouth."

When there was no response, Koyuki sighed and settled in next to his friend and bandmate.

There was momentary silence (save for Beck's barking) as one track ended and another began. Koyuki smiled softly, humming along with the song. Memories crowded him, swiftly coming to the forefront of his brain before rapidly being replaced by another. The first time he and Maho had broken into the pool; a late night in front of the fishing hole with Maho; the same pool, a different girl, but Maho's voice drifted over the splashing and Koyuki knew he would never forget how beautifully heartbreaking her face looked when lit up by sparklers; the one and only time he got to perform with Eddie, a hero, his idol, an all around outstanding guy, on stage.

Before he knew it his eyes were burning and Koyuki quickly swept his fingers across them, determined to be strong tonight because Ryusuke was the one who needed help. Rotating his shoulders, he popped his neck, releasing air between his vertebrae and tension he hadn't realized built up. Sighing contentedly, he glanced back at his friend, only to have a split second _whatthefuck!_ thought at seeing royal blue eyes dangerously close to his, and then Ryusuke's lips were pressed against his own.

Ryusuke's mouth tasted sour and his teeth were slimy and Koyuki could only wonder when the last time was the older boy had brushed his teeth.

"Hmm…uhm…," Koyuki grunted in displeasure, fingers restlessly moving against Ryusuke's shoulders and exerting pressure, but Ryusuke's hands were gripping his arms tightly. Realizing that his escape technique wasn't accomplishing anything, Koyuki finally just closed his lips and turned his head. Wet, opened mouth kisses continued on his cheek and then trailed down his neck.

"Okay, whoa…Ryusuke, no. Stop. Ewwh, stop sucking on that. Ryusuke!" He grabbed a fistful of greasy hair and tugged, hard. Hard enough that Ryusuke's lips disentangled themselves from the collar of Koyuki's shirt and his dazed eyes widened and cleared.

"Man, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" Ryusuke trailed off, voice rough and eyes downcast.

Even though his mind was whirling, Koyuki laughed it off. "It's nothing," he said, standing. "Now, come on, you reek. You definitely need a shower."

Groaning, Ryusuke stood, taking a few steps forward gingerly.

Koyuki watched him for a second, making sure Ryusuke could stand on his before heading to the bathroom, calling out behind him, "I'm going to go ahead and start the shower. You should grab a drink or something. Preferably not an alcoholic one."

Humming to himself, Koyuki turned on the taps and tested the temperature of the water before turning on the shower. He walked over to the sink, leaning against it as he looked at himself in the mirror. His lips weren't swollen but he had a small, red hickey on the left side of his neck. It wasn't dark enough to stay for very long.

"Geez…," he blushed, thinking how awkward the kiss had been. He'd only ever been kissed by Maho and the differences between the two were obvious. Maho, while not always gentle, had wanted him to lead. And her lips were softer, less chapped and not as forceful as her brothers. That thought started a whole new train of thought.

_I just kissed my girlfriends brother!_

_Well_, Koyuki deduced, _to be exact_, _he kissed me. And he's drunk. He didn't mean anything by it_.

There was a scrabbling sound outside the door and the handle jiggled. Ryusuke came stumbling in, orange cup in his hand and his white tee-shirt missing. He set the cup upside down on the counter and glanced at it victoriously, proud of his accomplishment.

Shutting the door, he said to Koyuki in English, "Couldn't get my belt." Giving a long-suffering sigh, Ryusuke leaned heavily against the door and pulled at his belt, proving his point.

Koyuki blinked. "What? Oh! Can't get your belt undone? Okay." He coughed, uncomfortable. It was okay, he decided. They were both boys. They had the same equipment. They'd also been friends for five years. It was fine. It wouldn't be the first time he'd seen Ryusuke naked.

Koyuki also tried to convince himself that he hadn't realized that, even with all the alcohol consumption, Ryusuke's body was still tight and lithe, his skin healthy and beautiful, the natural tawny color associated with being Japanese.

Fingers shaking, Koyuki reached out for the black leather of Ryusuke's studded belt. He gently slid the rawhide through the loop of his jeans, swallowing hard. It was a simple process, but to Koyuki it was endless and pain-stacking.

The belt dropped to the floor with a metallic clang and Koyuki gave a sigh of relief. _Finally off_, he thought gratefully.

"Koyuki…I can't unbutton my pants…"

_Oh, god…!_

* * *

Let me know if you think I should continue with this. It's been sitting around gathering dust in my files and I finally decided to upload it. It is my first BECK fanfic. I'm hoping that the characters are at least semi in-character. I have another one starring Maho and Koyuki that I'll finish up and put on here. Be on the look out for that if you enjoyed this one.


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